During our annual firm retreat to Burning Man, we've had a lot of conversations about Bitcoin and the future of wealth distribution on the Internet. Clearly, we're on the precipice of a once-in-a-generation shift in the mechanics of moving money and it is obvious to us at AdCap the blockchain figures centrally in this trend. The macroecon implications of Byzantine consensus is...

Wait.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Guys. Guys, not cool. Okay - everybody put down your mimosas. Who scratched my Maybach?

FUCK. FUCK! WHO FUCKING DID IT?

Goddammit - this is not fucking funny people. Oh shit. Oh fuck - you can see it from three feet away. Look at it. Just look at it! That gash is wider than the spread on my goddamn natural gas futures. Are fucking blind? It's right there.

No, Steve, I can't just "buff it out." I just got it fucking armored last month. That fender is single piece carbon fiber rated for a .30 cal at close range. I got to get the whole fucking thing replaced now. You have any idea what that costs, Steve?

No, of course you don't, because you took some fucking lot-bought M5 to brunch today. That fender costs more than your sports package, asshat.

[repeated deep breaths]

Okay.

It's cool. I'm zen.

No - NO! We don't need the check, we're good. We're still having a good time. It's only money, right?

[pause]

Did anyone, like, see someone sit on the Maybach?

No, it's cool - I've let it go. Just maybe one of you were looking that way while we were sitting here and saw someone taking a load off? 

Janet - I'm not going to do anything. I just want to let them know to be careful next time. You never know if the car just got some ballistic work done, you know? A lot of people don't know how expensive modern armor can be.

FUCK! FUCK!

[pounds table]

I'm out of here guys. Way uncool, way uncool. I just want to know which one of you didn't. That would make me feel a lot better when I'm on the phone tomorrow with the fucking. ARMOR. PEOPLE. explaining how my friends fucking up my half-mil ballistic job.

Fuck this. I'm out.

Yeah, yeah. I'll see you at soccer on Thursday.